I had some interesting conversation with B and J lately,(hmm if i ever have conversations with the two of them again mebbe i'll shorted it into BJ. hahaa... just a naughty thought.) we talked about our views on dating with multiple ppl all at the same time.
well, Mr. B apparently supports the idea of dating several persons at once, he supports his belief as he thinks he's still too young to be thinking of having a stable long term relationship(which i find is pretty saddening), and that it's the stage in his life where he thinks one should have fun, and go out with whoever makes him happy. while J pretty much find it hard to date 2 persons or more at once, he left most of the talking to me, so i don't really know the reason to why he feels that way, but he thinks it's kindda a traditional thing to him.
well, i personally think it's not wrong to date more then one person at once, but i do find that it really defeats the purpose of dating itself! I think to date is to be happy, yes, it's to have fun and make merry, but i think it won't really make one as happy having several relationships where one moderately likes everyone of them than having one relationship where he/she truely likes the person.
I think to multiple date makes one cherish the people he is dating less, and reduces the want to see the person again. this is due to that there'll always be this feeling at the back of the head that i've got other back ups anyway, and i can spend my time with some body else, holding back the emotions of the person. it thus defeats the purpose of dating itself because it would only serve to make one enjoy the freedom and the love and who would want to have any form of commitment after that? it's like after you've had the best of both worlds why would one ever want to lose one benefit just to enhance the other? most ppl(sadly i'd say the vast majority) would find it more satisfying to have the freedom AND the sense of interest in having different ppl to date with most of the time.
further more, to date different ppl/more then one just shows that you don't really like the person that much. if that's the case what's the point of dating the person at all in the 1st place? one may say that he does like the person, and does cherish the time spent with her. but that's because you have allocated a time and a space to be with that person, and you are only doing what you can to please her and vis versal within that time frame. but to love/to really like a person, there should not be such an allocation or time frame. the person would be, whether you like it or not, intentionally or unintentionally in your mind pretty much constantly or regularly. And one would not desire/find appeal in others be it physically/emotionally. but if that is not the case, it is apparent that he does not like the person he is dating as much as he probably should to continue dating her, then why continue? it does not make sense to me, and probably some who share the same view as me.
And just to add to the ridiculous way of living(to me atleast) to be intimate with everyone of the dates is even more undesirable. It's more like lust then love. and that should not be the objective of dating, or atleast not to me.
but i guess such a relationship would be possible if both the parties are holding the same belief, to play and have fun, 'enjoy' life. not commital, and just purely for company and enjoyment. as i should believe if one party is thinking of commitment and the other is just 'dating', it would be extremely hard on the committed party, as jealousy is not avoidable. and it would definitly cause hurt and pain. and such pain would only grow with time as love grows stronger if unfortunately only on one side.
that is my stand on dating. as i think to love someone whole heartedly sometimes you'll just have to give up something else, that's the point of loving. and i definitely do think that it is much more rewarding and satisfying to love and be loved whole heartedly, and see your other half happy, than to do so with moderation and feel half the commitment into the happiness of each other.
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