Happiness

is when one is loved? Or when one loves?

A topic to ponder.

Most of my friends would choose to be loved over loving. To them, it would feel more torturous to love someone who doesn't love them the same way than to be loved by someone they don't. It is understandable. Everyone have different needs when it comes to relationships I suppose. May be that I am masochistic,but I'd choose to be with someone whom I love than to be with one whom I don't. The reason is simple. I think it'd be torturous to not be loved the same amount back, but it'd be worst if I were to be constantly in guilt for not loving someone as much as I should. And the world would be dark and gloomy with someone whom I have limited love for, whilst every little thing that the person I love does would brighten my day and make life worth living for.

Some would try and learn to love the person back. But this is far too unknown for me. What if I find that I can't love the person back? What if after years and years of trying, I'm still not 'there'? The fact is, rejection IS the best form of attraction. The biggest fish will always be the one who snapped your line and got away. And life will be a misery being with someone whom you know will always be there, but only serve to make you feel more guilty everyday. I'd rather be the one who gives than the one who receives.

Ideally though, everyone should only be with someone whom they love and be loved by the same person. What can I say, the world is far from Ideal. And too many people had made too many wrong choices with regards to what kind of love they want and can endure. I'm not sure if what I believe in is correct, or even rational. But love is just such an irrational thing that even the most sophisicated scientific machine cannot rationalise. Where no art can justify. And no man can(and probably will ever) understand fully.

So, maybe I should just lift my hands up and surrender to love. Let me float like the leaves in the wind, and probably love will decide where I should be eventually.

But can anyone explain this strong wish from within to be with thee...