I had some interesting conversation with B and J lately,(hmm if i ever have conversations with the two of them again mebbe i'll shorted it into BJ. hahaa... just a naughty thought.) we talked about our views on dating with multiple ppl all at the same time.
well, Mr. B apparently supports the idea of dating several persons at once, he supports his belief as he thinks he's still too young to be thinking of having a stable long term relationship(which i find is pretty saddening), and that it's the stage in his life where he thinks one should have fun, and go out with whoever makes him happy. while J pretty much find it hard to date 2 persons or more at once, he left most of the talking to me, so i don't really know the reason to why he feels that way, but he thinks it's kindda a traditional thing to him.
well, i personally think it's not wrong to date more then one person at once, but i do find that it really defeats the purpose of dating itself! I think to date is to be happy, yes, it's to have fun and make merry, but i think it won't really make one as happy having several relationships where one moderately likes everyone of them than having one relationship where he/she truely likes the person.
I think to multiple date makes one cherish the people he is dating less, and reduces the want to see the person again. this is due to that there'll always be this feeling at the back of the head that i've got other back ups anyway, and i can spend my time with some body else, holding back the emotions of the person. it thus defeats the purpose of dating itself because it would only serve to make one enjoy the freedom and the love and who would want to have any form of commitment after that? it's like after you've had the best of both worlds why would one ever want to lose one benefit just to enhance the other? most ppl(sadly i'd say the vast majority) would find it more satisfying to have the freedom AND the sense of interest in having different ppl to date with most of the time.
further more, to date different ppl/more then one just shows that you don't really like the person that much. if that's the case what's the point of dating the person at all in the 1st place? one may say that he does like the person, and does cherish the time spent with her. but that's because you have allocated a time and a space to be with that person, and you are only doing what you can to please her and vis versal within that time frame. but to love/to really like a person, there should not be such an allocation or time frame. the person would be, whether you like it or not, intentionally or unintentionally in your mind pretty much constantly or regularly. And one would not desire/find appeal in others be it physically/emotionally. but if that is not the case, it is apparent that he does not like the person he is dating as much as he probably should to continue dating her, then why continue? it does not make sense to me, and probably some who share the same view as me.
And just to add to the ridiculous way of living(to me atleast) to be intimate with everyone of the dates is even more undesirable. It's more like lust then love. and that should not be the objective of dating, or atleast not to me.
but i guess such a relationship would be possible if both the parties are holding the same belief, to play and have fun, 'enjoy' life. not commital, and just purely for company and enjoyment. as i should believe if one party is thinking of commitment and the other is just 'dating', it would be extremely hard on the committed party, as jealousy is not avoidable. and it would definitly cause hurt and pain. and such pain would only grow with time as love grows stronger if unfortunately only on one side.
that is my stand on dating. as i think to love someone whole heartedly sometimes you'll just have to give up something else, that's the point of loving. and i definitely do think that it is much more rewarding and satisfying to love and be loved whole heartedly, and see your other half happy, than to do so with moderation and feel half the commitment into the happiness of each other.
30.10.04
Visit of The Tai Tai
Went to watch a wild rice theater production last night, an unexpectedly long one with alot more content then what the production had had to give. Anyway, the whole thing lasted for 3hrs including interval, the 1st half was a stunning 1 1/2hrs! And i only got to reach home around 1230 which explains the incohesiveness and my inability to control my fingers in typing. sever lack of sleep for the past two days.
well, anyway, enough of me already, i'll talk about the show.
the visit of the tai tai was a show with quite a plot i'd say, it showed the evil face of our human race. how people can work against their conscience for the sake of money and find the 'right' reasons to perform then without feeling any sense of guilt. it was indeed quite a horrible portrayal of humans, what poverty can do to us, and what we'd do for material.(J was utterly traumatised by the thought)
The story started pretty simple, in a town, a small one, called sai tang(crap bucket), where the ppl of the town were waiting by the train station for the arrival of a woman who was once from the town itself. her name was incredibly difficult to pronounce, actually i hve difficulty even trying to remember what i sounds like now, mrs zakana...(something) oh well, i'll call her mrs z.
so she is now i think the riches woman on earth, supposedly owning half of the world, revisiting her homeground which is in a wreak and deep, and still sinking, in poverty. her arrival was greatly anticipated by the town ppl, the old friends and acquaintances and an old lover called antony who was the cause of her leaving the town. They had a great welcome waiting for her, and the woman was free to show off her wealth and ridiculous way of living. (changing husbands like clothes, doing whatever she wanted with the wealth she had, and no one dared/even wanted to defy what she wanted for the monetary rewards were high)
It was soon reveiled the real reason why she returned the this town, the town she hated so much, she wanted to have justice done. She offered a price, a billion dollars, 500 million for the town of saitang, and 500 million to be shared amoung the ppl of saitang, with but one condition, to have antony killed.
the ppl rejected quite aggressively and spoke of their morals, how they'd rather live in poverty then to have hands of blood at 1st, but were soon found to be spending future money, buying on credit and accumulating their debts, it was as though they were just waiting for someone else to kill Antony.
Meanwhile, antony being the store owner of a little provision stall,whom the ppl bought in credit too, noticed very well that everyone was buying and spending on credit, and all the other stalls allow that as well. he could feel it in the air that everyone is just waiting, inclusive of his wife, daughter and son.he became incredibly paranoid, but could not find help anywhere. eventually keeping himself locked up in his small room, spending his time pacing around all day.
after some time, he finally took out the courage to face up with his fear and face up with the wrong doings he had done. he had nice chats walking down the memory lane with mrs z, and spoke calmly of his death and afterdeath. he faced the town council calmly, and allowing them to do whatever they want after the town council court meeting. of coz, in the name of justice, the town council meeting was filled with ppl wearing silk shirts and satin dresses, the decision of death to antony was passed unanimously, and they were cruel/impatient enough to not even allow him to die at home but to die right there in the council hall after all the guests and reporters had gone for reception. Later reporting it as a tragedy of heart failure, 'of joy' they said.
the story ended with songs and dances as the town was re decorated and everyone was celebrating their wealth. it was rather saddening, how humans can just be so.. so inhuman.
the performance was generally well done, and some parts of it was rather funny, though some other parts were painful to watch especially when they were trying to 'console' antony to not worry, and there were some long draggy parts. but still, i'd recommand ppl to watch it. not that i think anyone would still want to watch it after i already wrote down the whole story. the whole thing ends on this sun which is actually tmr. with 2 performances today and 2 tmr. actually i haven't quite written down the whole damn story lah, how would it be possible to write down a 3 hr play in a short page like this? so it's still worth watching i think, cause it's the small parts that are funny.
well, anyway, enough of me already, i'll talk about the show.
the visit of the tai tai was a show with quite a plot i'd say, it showed the evil face of our human race. how people can work against their conscience for the sake of money and find the 'right' reasons to perform then without feeling any sense of guilt. it was indeed quite a horrible portrayal of humans, what poverty can do to us, and what we'd do for material.(J was utterly traumatised by the thought)
The story started pretty simple, in a town, a small one, called sai tang(crap bucket), where the ppl of the town were waiting by the train station for the arrival of a woman who was once from the town itself. her name was incredibly difficult to pronounce, actually i hve difficulty even trying to remember what i sounds like now, mrs zakana...(something) oh well, i'll call her mrs z.
so she is now i think the riches woman on earth, supposedly owning half of the world, revisiting her homeground which is in a wreak and deep, and still sinking, in poverty. her arrival was greatly anticipated by the town ppl, the old friends and acquaintances and an old lover called antony who was the cause of her leaving the town. They had a great welcome waiting for her, and the woman was free to show off her wealth and ridiculous way of living. (changing husbands like clothes, doing whatever she wanted with the wealth she had, and no one dared/even wanted to defy what she wanted for the monetary rewards were high)
It was soon reveiled the real reason why she returned the this town, the town she hated so much, she wanted to have justice done. She offered a price, a billion dollars, 500 million for the town of saitang, and 500 million to be shared amoung the ppl of saitang, with but one condition, to have antony killed.
the ppl rejected quite aggressively and spoke of their morals, how they'd rather live in poverty then to have hands of blood at 1st, but were soon found to be spending future money, buying on credit and accumulating their debts, it was as though they were just waiting for someone else to kill Antony.
Meanwhile, antony being the store owner of a little provision stall,whom the ppl bought in credit too, noticed very well that everyone was buying and spending on credit, and all the other stalls allow that as well. he could feel it in the air that everyone is just waiting, inclusive of his wife, daughter and son.he became incredibly paranoid, but could not find help anywhere. eventually keeping himself locked up in his small room, spending his time pacing around all day.
after some time, he finally took out the courage to face up with his fear and face up with the wrong doings he had done. he had nice chats walking down the memory lane with mrs z, and spoke calmly of his death and afterdeath. he faced the town council calmly, and allowing them to do whatever they want after the town council court meeting. of coz, in the name of justice, the town council meeting was filled with ppl wearing silk shirts and satin dresses, the decision of death to antony was passed unanimously, and they were cruel/impatient enough to not even allow him to die at home but to die right there in the council hall after all the guests and reporters had gone for reception. Later reporting it as a tragedy of heart failure, 'of joy' they said.
the story ended with songs and dances as the town was re decorated and everyone was celebrating their wealth. it was rather saddening, how humans can just be so.. so inhuman.
the performance was generally well done, and some parts of it was rather funny, though some other parts were painful to watch especially when they were trying to 'console' antony to not worry, and there were some long draggy parts. but still, i'd recommand ppl to watch it. not that i think anyone would still want to watch it after i already wrote down the whole story. the whole thing ends on this sun which is actually tmr. with 2 performances today and 2 tmr. actually i haven't quite written down the whole damn story lah, how would it be possible to write down a 3 hr play in a short page like this? so it's still worth watching i think, cause it's the small parts that are funny.
29.10.04
sweet caress of the sunlight
brightening up my day
though i know that some day it will rain
i still allow myself to play
bright sunshine, when will you go away?
will you come back after the rain?
but love is selfish, and i want you to stay.
even if the flowers will wither and the woods decay
I want you to be mine
to be here always.
to only make my days better
and not all they.
And so i cry and so i whine.
coz i can never make you mine.
you don't want to and you can't
and you'll have to go someday.
Go then. Go.
I'll love you still.
but i don't want your warmth.
I'd rather leave this beautiful land and look for a pasture of my own.
I'll leave, I'll go.
I can't stay with you no more.
It hurts me more then the withered flowers
It hurts me more then you know.
for love is selfish
and you must know.
if it's not selfish,
it's love no more.
and for love is selfish
and so am i
I shall make my way to a greener life
to leave you before it hurts too badly.
And may i wish and hope that might,
when i look up into the skies you'll be there
and i'll be smiling
and i'll carry this memory for life.
And may i wish and hope that might,
when you look around and find my traces
you'll be smiling
and you'll carry this memory for life.
brightening up my day
though i know that some day it will rain
i still allow myself to play
bright sunshine, when will you go away?
will you come back after the rain?
but love is selfish, and i want you to stay.
even if the flowers will wither and the woods decay
I want you to be mine
to be here always.
to only make my days better
and not all they.
And so i cry and so i whine.
coz i can never make you mine.
you don't want to and you can't
and you'll have to go someday.
Go then. Go.
I'll love you still.
but i don't want your warmth.
I'd rather leave this beautiful land and look for a pasture of my own.
I'll leave, I'll go.
I can't stay with you no more.
It hurts me more then the withered flowers
It hurts me more then you know.
for love is selfish
and you must know.
if it's not selfish,
it's love no more.
and for love is selfish
and so am i
I shall make my way to a greener life
to leave you before it hurts too badly.
And may i wish and hope that might,
when i look up into the skies you'll be there
and i'll be smiling
and i'll carry this memory for life.
And may i wish and hope that might,
when you look around and find my traces
you'll be smiling
and you'll carry this memory for life.
28.10.04
as some of you might have noticed, i've been miving some stuff from my previous blog to this one.. so the entries dated between 11-15-2003 to 10-22-2004 are all used furniture. i haven't really finished moving everything here yet. and i think the server cannot register so much information all at once.. coz my com is kindda corking up again.. and the uploading is super slow. so i'll continue some other day.
meanwhile.. Gavin. i need you to teach me/help my get a tag board on my diary too!! ASAP shouldn't be too hard i presume?
meanwhile.. Gavin. i need you to teach me/help my get a tag board on my diary too!! ASAP shouldn't be too hard i presume?
my type of love
I love you
without knowing when
or how
or why
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities
or pride
And so I love
because I know no other way
then this
Where I does not exist
nor you
So close
that your hand on my chest
is my hand
So close
that your eyes close
as i fall asleep
without knowing when
or how
or why
I love you straightforwardly,
without complexities
or pride
And so I love
because I know no other way
then this
Where I does not exist
nor you
So close
that your hand on my chest
is my hand
So close
that your eyes close
as i fall asleep
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)