Spring flowers in the dark of winter

Gosh. Just look at that title. Total emo. hahahahaa..

But actually, it's kind of a happy post


On the chill of a winter's night.
Winds howling in this restless plight.

I don't remember when it started.
Where I curled up into my little corner.
Too afraid to touch, or see, or feel.
This winter is beginning to get too cold.

Then you reached out your hand
Like a torch or fire.

I might be burning myself,
but for now,
I feel like a spring flower in the dark of winter.

Loneliness

I guess the biggest problem I have, is my strong dislike towards being alone. But yet, I'm picky about who to spend time with. Sigh. 

It's probably not the best combination of introvertness, it expands so much of my energy to interact with others that despite the desire to connect, I feel wary about who. Having said that, I sincerely apologise to my friends whom I've probably been neglecting, some times I just feel so tired to connect to people.. I wish I could have friends who I don't need to worry too much about, friendships that lasts a lifetime and some one to care about/be cared by without too much maintenance. Perhaps what I need, is a lazy friendship. 

Honestly speaking, I think I'm a lazy friend. I'll do my best to help if my friends need me, but when they don't need me, I am quite happy to fade away.. I guess that's me. A lazy friend. 

My best friend and I meet up about once a year. That's what it's like to be my best friend, can you imagine?? I think by notm standards, I'm a pretty sucky best friend to anyone. Haha. 

Now that I think about it, Tbh, I think I have a friendship/relationship phobia. I thought these were things that were supposed to go away as people got older?? What the hell?? Oh well, sleepy time. 

Touch

Last night you came into my dream. Almost consciously. 

We kissed and caressed and you took my breath away as usual. I loved it.

In the dream, you were confident, it was like it was planned. Like you wanted to be there as much as I did.

Like I was not dreaming alone. For once. It felt like you wanted to be there with me. 

Thank you for the dream.

I do not love you.

The warmth of my hand in your hand

As you rest your head on my lap.

like a boulder, like a child,

it was like we were one, for once.

A feeling unexplainable.

like the flower yearns for the Sun.

I do not love you, for love is too light a word.

You consumed me, and I cannot escape your world

You surround me like the cold air in Winter,

and the warm air in Summer.

And a Spring breeze on a bicycle and

the Autumn fire.

I'd go anywhere with you,

if only you would take me.

Holding my hand,

telling me you need me as much as I need you.

But you are the Sun,

the Sun that does not yearn for the flower's affection.

I do not love you, for a feeling as strong as this

can no longer be described by love alone. 

Bad Influence

Bad influence,
you are all over my mind.

With every breath you drew
you drew away my life.

I cannot help but feel your breath,
caress my skin so bare.

What influence you have on me,
I have nothing to compare.

For what I desire,
with every pore and every hair

Is your soft fingers running through my hair
and your skin on my skin again.