I didn't think you will be gone soh soon. We were just beginning, the flowers have only started to bloom.
The promise of spring, at our finger tips.
Yet you slipped away. A winter's snapping chill.
Your smile, your laugh...
All the places we were supposed to go together.
We had plans! Could you not remember? How could you leave me just like that. Without a goodbye. Without telling me why.. or how.. leaving only 'when' behind with you last seen online?
Ok, ok ok... I'm ok, don't worry.. Don't worry about me. How? How did you expect me to not worry. If I had known that you would just leave like this, if only I had known.. I'd have done everything to see you before you were gone too soon.
I wouldn't have paused when we looked each other in the eyes. I would have told you, that I liked you, and that I miss you when you are not around. And now you are truly not around anymore.. I can't even tell you I miss you anymore. I can't even touch you anymore... rub shoulders with you any more.. sit in your car with my legs up anymore..
What will I do now? So many places that we've been. So many more that we wanted to go. I was looking forward to giving you a big hug and say, everything is ok now. And maybe just inch a little closer to your warmth. But now... you are in a different world. with a box between you and I. and only the cold chill of forever gone.
I can't stop my tears from falling. All our memories made. They will not be forgotten. And like you said, one day you will rest forever. I never envisioned that day to come so quickly... but you are resting now. Be at peace, for you are sorely missed... and loved... by me.
29.8.19
16.8.19
Of Manipulations and Bullies
Haven't been posting for a while, I guess ever since the stalker incident, I got scared. Suddenly, it felt like I lost the safety of being a nobody. Having said that, after all the things that happened recently, I now truly believe that bullies are people who uses fear against others. And so, the best way to face up and go against any bully is to NOT FEAR.
A lot has happened in recent months, and it's really an eye opener in the world of manipulation and bullies. Luckily for me, there are also good guys on the opposite spectrum, so I'm not so much scarred for life, and faith in humanity is not completely destroyed. Though I now carry a much more wary attitude towards other people's intentions.
Somehow there's this righteousness in me since young, that I cannot stand down to bullies and feel that people need to stand up for themselves, or I will. Maybe that's why I always get into trouble? Shrug. But ya, that is also the source of my frustrations now as, for the first time, since I graduated from school, I realised there are a lot of people who are just sheep.. easily manipulated and lead in the direction the bully wants them to go.
I'm finding it difficult to understand what happened. How is it that the people are unable to see the problems and ask the right questions. How did they get lead by the nose to think and see situations in a way that should not have been to start with. It's all rather bizarre to me. But I guess that is the height of manipulation. When I trusted the stalker, I tended to believe the things he said without questioning them too much either. Always giving him the benefit of doubt and seeing what he did in a positive light despite all the warning signs.
It is so frustrating, seeing people fall victim to such characters, especially for people who have seen the light. in fact, it is infuriating. How can we expose him and his true colours? Gosh. Will it ever happen? I hope so. But by then, maybe the damage would have been done.
The best defense I can think of at this moment, is to not fear, and keep a questioning mind. Always ask, why? How? Never just let people tell you what is real.
A lot has happened in recent months, and it's really an eye opener in the world of manipulation and bullies. Luckily for me, there are also good guys on the opposite spectrum, so I'm not so much scarred for life, and faith in humanity is not completely destroyed. Though I now carry a much more wary attitude towards other people's intentions.
Somehow there's this righteousness in me since young, that I cannot stand down to bullies and feel that people need to stand up for themselves, or I will. Maybe that's why I always get into trouble? Shrug. But ya, that is also the source of my frustrations now as, for the first time, since I graduated from school, I realised there are a lot of people who are just sheep.. easily manipulated and lead in the direction the bully wants them to go.
I'm finding it difficult to understand what happened. How is it that the people are unable to see the problems and ask the right questions. How did they get lead by the nose to think and see situations in a way that should not have been to start with. It's all rather bizarre to me. But I guess that is the height of manipulation. When I trusted the stalker, I tended to believe the things he said without questioning them too much either. Always giving him the benefit of doubt and seeing what he did in a positive light despite all the warning signs.
It is so frustrating, seeing people fall victim to such characters, especially for people who have seen the light. in fact, it is infuriating. How can we expose him and his true colours? Gosh. Will it ever happen? I hope so. But by then, maybe the damage would have been done.
The best defense I can think of at this moment, is to not fear, and keep a questioning mind. Always ask, why? How? Never just let people tell you what is real.
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