The past months have been enjoyable, chit chatting like old friends. I missed that about us. Our friendship that was unbound and conversations on steroids. Laughing about nothing and enjoying being weird together. But after all that, you brought us back to square one. Was it a serious chat? Maybe in your haste to force a decision, an outcome that you so desired, you forgot about me. That I am also part of the equation. There are many times, if I can be so truthful to you, where I thought, maybe I should just settle. Settle for someone who holds a torch for me. Who so promises to love me unconditionally. There are so many times I entertained that thought you have no idea. Should I? Can I?
Then there were those times that I wanted to try. From when we were together, to when we broke up, to when you said you still loved me. But our problems was always the same. In the haste to your destination, you forgot about me.
I told you today, that you are not in love with me. You are in love with the idea of me. You didn't think so obviously. You think I'm pushing you away. But you didn't realise that when I was trying, you rejected the very same request you asked of me today.
Let's start back at being friends and see how things are.
You claim that it would show me that you know me through and through. That your love was real. Little did you know, it only showed how much you didn't and the distance that's between us.
Perhaps I was too many steps ahead. Perhaps I am just too far behind. But when a relationship has gone past the point of no return, I think that's really what it is. And we all have to live with the possibility of a little regret in our lives.
Thank you for loving me. Nobody said it would be easy. I feel like I'm losing a friend, but perhaps that's just my idea of you too.
No comments:
Post a Comment