God I feel old

It is somewhat a depressing thought.

The odd thing is of coz, that I don't actually feel that much difference between when I was 18 and when I'm now 28. Possibly I don't look much different from then either. But standing among a crowd of 18-25year olds in a night club makes me feel almost as ancient as the dinosaur.

I'd hate to admit it, but it really does feel like I've passed my prime. How I wasted my youth, I have no idea. I suppose I can only look back with a little bit of regret, afterall, I did manage to squeeze in many things in my short life so far. Only problem would be, on hindsight, maybe I squeeze in too much.

There are many reflections on my life, and I am almost constantly thinking about what I am doing and how it all came together. One of the things that I have been reflecting upon lately would be the concept of time. Strangly, when one is younger, or rather, when I was younger, I seem to feel more urgency with time. Like time is running out, and I have still so much to do that I will regret if I die tomorrow and I haven't done them .

But now at a "ripe old age" of 28, everything seem to slow down. Suddenly I just don't feel that kind of urgency anymore, a little bit of the Been-There-Done-That perhaps, but also, the fact that I've come so far, that I think patience and waiting is really much more enjoyable. To take the time to explore, understand, and learn.

It seems to me that most people work in the reverse. Starting out perhaps slow.. and then wanting everything to speed up when they realise "time is running out". There is no doubt, that there are times where urgency is required. But what I'm talking about, are the other things in life.

Rushing in urgency to buy roses for your girlfriend because it's valentine's day, do people even stop to admire just for a little bit and take a whiff at the bouquet they have just purchased?

Trying to get to know someone by asking 100 questions almost back to back to find out while showing  interest, but how many are able to sit back and enjoy the moments spent together in silence. The quiet understanding two persons might have as one respond almost intuitively to the body language of the other.

Taking the time to think and observe the world around us, understand the possible reasons or scenarios that are unknown before jumping into action or conclusion.

What I've come to realise, is that time don't run out when you don't act. Rather, much like in a game of chess, time runs out on you much faster when you need to back track. So take your time, smell those roses and enjoy the bits in life that you cannot and does no need to be acted upon. That, my friend, is true liberation.