I started off wanting to write about relationships.. after writing 3 paragraphs.. I felt sick.. and deleted all of them off..
Haiz.. Actually I don't really know how I should feel too.. there's only one person in my life now that I feel I love... But he does not love me. How much more straightforward can that be? Why can't he just tell me that he does not love me and tell me to buzz off? The more I spend time with him, the more he acts like he loves me, the more I'm falling for him.. But he is just an imagination! I can't even think of a single reason to why I should be with someone who does not give shit about how I feel, who only cares for me because I am around him and don't give a damn about how I am doing when I'm not with him. Sick of all this hypocracy.. If I'm nothing, tell me I'm nothing. Don't be politically correct so as to keep me as your safety net.
Trust is really something I cannot put on you? Is it really that out of reach? You make me feel so naive I can't even believe you anymore.. Coz now I know, that everything you do and say are all lies.. just acts that you put up, means nothing at all... Everything..
How it pains me.. How it pains me to know that everything that felt real were nothing but BS. And yet I can't find someone/anywhere else to focus on other than he.. I feel pathetic.
Stop asking me if I love you. I told you I did. And until the day I say I don't. I will continue loving you..
1 comment:
Dun think so negatively Xianz...for now it only seems as if you've only got HIM..and he's nonchalant about your love for him,but its either he will wake up to your love or you will realise that you will have another man worthy of your love for him,just as simple as that.Do not put yourself through that much agony but treat it as a learning curve and learn about love..makes u an even greater lady than u already are. :) Smilezz ahhh
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