Relationships

I started off wanting to write about relationships.. after writing 3 paragraphs.. I felt sick.. and deleted all of them off..

Haiz.. Actually I don't really know how I should feel too.. there's only one person in my life now that I feel I love... But he does not love me. How much more straightforward can that be? Why can't he just tell me that he does not love me and tell me to buzz off? The more I spend time with him, the more he acts like he loves me, the more I'm falling for him.. But he is just an imagination! I can't even think of a single reason to why I should be with someone who does not give shit about how I feel, who only cares for me because I am around him and don't give a damn about how I am doing when I'm not with him. Sick of all this hypocracy.. If I'm nothing, tell me I'm nothing. Don't be politically correct so as to keep me as your safety net.

Trust is really something I cannot put on you? Is it really that out of reach? You make me feel so naive I can't even believe you anymore.. Coz now I know, that everything you do and say are all lies.. just acts that you put up, means nothing at all... Everything..

How it pains me.. How it pains me to know that everything that felt real were nothing but BS. And yet I can't find someone/anywhere else to focus on other than he.. I feel pathetic.

Stop asking me if I love you. I told you I did. And until the day I say I don't. I will continue loving you..

Odd things about me...

Sleepy sleepy..

My hair.. is curly on one side and kindda straight on the other side now...
My eyes.. One is bigger than the other...
My feet.. is deformed.. just one.. lucky me..
My fingers.. looks croaked when inspected individually...
My Pimples.. likes to grow IN my DIMPLES...
My dress sense.. wait.. what IS dress sense?
My waist... is asymmatrical...
I... am odd..

So many more things.. lazy to type liao.. perhaps I should make a list of things that are NORMAL about me.. should be much easier.. :P

I... eat.
I... sleep.
fullstop.

hehee..

And I wonder..

If it is true that Love is blind.

To really love someone.. would one be able to tolerate everything bad about him/her so long as that does not contradict with the intrinstic values that made one fall in love.

If everyone is perfect in somebody's eyes.

If we were born to make the world a better place, OR

If our mission in life is to make ourselves a better person.

If darwin was right on the theory of evolution.

If it's better to marry someone older or younger.

If MY marriage would be shortlived..

If I'll get married at all.

If the world would have been a better place if all man are of the same colour.

If there will ever be racial equality.

If there will ever be gender equality.

If anyone cares what I write here.

If anyone wonders the same things as me.

If I have been doing the right things.

If I can make myself do better.

What can I do to make myself and everything around me better.

The questions of life.... What is the question to 42?

Fooling around

Am I trying too hard?

Running around, going about
Here and there, everywhere
Trying this one out,
That one out.
Nothing quite works out.

Heart broken again and again
Perhaps my hopes were too high
Perhaps my dreams were to pretty
Perhaps giving up would be a better choice